Top Ten Ways to Fail on Your Writing Assignment

1. Be sure to ignore all instructions from your teacher.
2. Come up with a random subject that you aren't interested in.
3. Drool and make food stains on your hello-kitty paper.
4. Stay up all night and do your assignment at 2am the morning it is due.
5. Use lots of run-on sentences and fragments.
6. Use a lot of slang and mis-spelled words.
7. Don't do any rough drafts.
8. Copy your essay from the Internet, on the wrong topic.
9. Be sure there is no thesis, no intro, and no conclusion.
10. Forget to turn it in!